Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
