Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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