Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
