At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
