I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
