you're like a bully in the Christmas story
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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