and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
My vagina just clenched in fear
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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