we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
