He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
they're like a gay fantastic four
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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