I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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