I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
