i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
