Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
