didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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