you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
