Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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