Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
