Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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