Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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