Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
