Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
