I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
