They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
