In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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