We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'm at about main and main street
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
