I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
