I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
