Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
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