No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
