Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Randomize
