Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize