So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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