I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
