weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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