On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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