is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
