So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
