she looked like the before picture.
My balls are so social today.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
