No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
