you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
