I think I won the penis lottery.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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