I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
