Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
