You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
