I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
