Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
