my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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