i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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