You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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