question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
