I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
